A confidence crisis can happen to any level of rider, as Simon Grieve, who is contesting the 17th CCI5* of his career at Defender Burghley Horse Trials this week, can confirm.
The 43-year-old rider is competing Evie Mackel’s Autograf, a first-timer at this level, after working with sports psychologist Charlie Unwin to get to the bottom of a loss of confidence that he experienced earlier in the eventing season.
“I’ve had lots of crashes and lots of falls in the past, and then I’ve got back straight back on and cracked on and been absolutely fine,” said Simon.
“This time, I don’t know why, just suddenly my brain said I can’t do it anymore.”
Talking about confidence
The confidence crisis was triggered by a run at Thoresby Park International Eventing Spring Carnival in March, where Simon went the wrong way in the showjumping and then retired Autograf on the CCI4*S cross-country course.
“I went to see a sports psychologist, and I had a couple of lessons with Chris Bartle, and changed my routine, because it was all me,” said Simon.
“Then I went to Burnham Market, and felt like a human and we were amazing [they jumped clear]. So the season started off not so great, and we’ve really blossomed together.
“He [Autograf] was fabulous round Hartpury last time out so I’m feeling like we’re prepared, in a good way, and really happy.”
When Simon talked about his nerves on his YouTube channel and social media, people started to message him, saying that they were experiencing the same thing.
“I’ve had people from all levels, from doing a 70 all the way up to top level, saying, ‘I’m going through the same thing’, but we don’t talk about it and I think it’s really important that we do,” he said.
Chimp Paradox
Dr Steve Peters’ ‘Chimp Paradox’ is a psychological model that explains human behaviour through the interaction of three systems within the mind.
The systems are:
- The emotional, impulsive chimp
- The rational, logical human
- The data-storing computer
The Chimp can override rational thought when a rider becomes stressed or triggered, leading to self-doubt and confidence loss.
“My chimp was definitely having a chat,” said Simon.
“He was saying, ‘You’re rubbish and you can’t do this’, so I had to shut him up.
Keep your chimp busy
“I was talking to my psychologist about Pau a few years ago, when I was riding a horse I was really not confident on.
“I remember having a conversation with someone who said you’re allowed to be as scared as you like all week, until Saturday morning.
“On Friday night, you can ring everyone and say this is terrifying, I’m so scared, and on Saturday morning, you’re going to wake up and be professional and say, ‘This is my job, I’m going to do a good job and get on with it — and that’s exactly what happened.
“It’s really random, but my psychologist said it’s actually a thing.
“You keep your chimp really busy and get it tired, and then off you go.
“So I’m going to try and do that this week. I keep it busy by telling it how scared I am.”
A favourite type of horse
Autograf is a 13-year-old bay that measures 16hh. He is very similar to several horses that Simon has ridden at the top level in the past.
“I was hacking around here yesterday with Will Rawlin and he said, ‘You definitely have a type, don’t you?
“It’s a little brown horse. Drumbilla Metro went round here a couple of times and he was exactly the same.”
Simon added that Autograf is “a cool kid — he’s very sure of himself and I’m looking forward to Saturday.”
He added that the Derek di Grazia-designed cross-country course should suit his mount.
“They’ve got to be bold and brave. I was going to say big, and bold and brave, but actually he’s small, so small and bold and brave, which he is.
“I think it should suit him.”
Main image by Tim Wilkinson
