We all love our horses, right? Of course we do. But even so, our delightful charges are very good at appearing angelic while doing something that makes us look just a little bit daft. How many of the following can you relate to?
1. Pulling on your toggles
Your horse is playfully nibbling at your coat when he comes across a toggle. You know the one we mean, it’s elasticated and super stretchy.
At this point it’s too late to retreat to safety. Your horse pulls, let’s go, and it pings back and smacks you in the face. Ouch.
2. Being bad to worm (sometimes)
You’ve egg counted and a wormer treatment is necessary, which brings memories of his previous naughty antics (throwing head up high, pulling you around, threatening to rear — you know the score).
You've warned your helper to brace themselves. But then your horse stands obediently without fuss and everyone thinks you're over reacting.
3. He out-smarts you
You turn to leave his stable, slightly embarrassed to have made such a fuss, when there’s a cough behind you and something lands on the floor. That would be the wormer. Your clever horse hadn’t actually swallowed it yet…
4. He’s an escape artist
You’ve tied up to muck out and while emptying the barrow you hear the clip-clopping of hooves crossing the yard. On your way back, your horse is nowhere to be seen. He doesn’t even need time to chew his rope anymore, he knows exactly where to pull and free himself.
By the time you catch him, he’s probably rolled in the mud and broken his rope, too.
5. He doesn’t fancy loading today
It’s competition day and you’re super excited to get going. “He’s brilliant to load”, “he’s never a problem”, you confidently tell those around you. But then he won’t go in.
6. Now he won’t go home…
Sometimes though, he marches in, travels well and you win a rosette. But then the whole day is ruined when he refuses to load to go home. Cue all and sundry offering brooms, lungeing whips and reins to help encourage him in — not to mention passing comments and advice.
7. He doesn’t do puddles
He’ll canter through water across country, plough through rivers out hacking and never thinks twice about splashing through deep mud and water to get to his field gate. But can you get him to walk through a puddle when you’re on board? Hell no!
8. Covering you with yuck
You’re enjoying a tender moment — nuzzling your cheek, cuddling into your stomach — and then he snorts all over you.
9. A case of wind
The moment you pick up his back feet or begin brushing his tail he passes wind — and you don't even consider moving away. Now that’s true love.
10. He’s scared of that today
That log on the verge was NOT there when you hacked this way last week, says your horse as he spooks and tries to turn for him. Yet put that same log in the middle of a field and canter towards it, he’ll jump without hesitation.
11. He doesn’t like that corner of the school
He’s been riding in the same arena for months now, but some days one corner is just too scary to go all the way into. It’s not always the same corner either...
12. Running off in public
You’ve tied him up by the lorry to groom/plait/tack up when the same brush you’ve been using at home for the last five years gives him a fright.
He pulls back, runs away and causes mayhem. You follow the “loose horse” shrieks and, when he makes it all the way to the dressage arena, you consider denying he’s yours.
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