Your instructor has no write to upset you or make you feel bad. At the end of the day, you should enjoy your riding lessons. It is your instructor's duty to provide a good service to you. I used to have the same problem as you. My instructor made me look stupid in front of everybody and made me feel rubbish at horse riding. Then I changed riding schools and everything changed. Now I have a lovely instructor who helps me without being patronising. You should change instructors, because it's clear you probably won't progress as much if you have such a nasty instructor. You may not even have to change riding schools. At least let your instructor know that you feel uncomfortable in lessons. She may not even realise she's doing it! Hope this helps.

I was an instructor for 5 years until the riding school I taught at closed - I would have been mortified if one of my clients did not feel that they could have the utmost confidence in m to adapt to their level of skill or confidence. You must speak to your instructor - any instructor worthy of the right to teach will push you to a certain extent, but only to further your experience, not to frighten the living daylights out of you! If she really wants to retain you as a client she will adapt to you, not the other way round. if she will not listen to you I would certainly take your business elsewhere - it's what I would do! I hope you are able to resolve you issues with her and I hope this helps.

I agree with everyone that you should change instructors.  I also understand that doing it will be really difficult as she's almost family!  Are you riding her horses or is she teaching you at a riding school?  Whichever it is can you not just make up an excuse to change somewhere else, because it's nearer, cheaper, your friends go there etc. 

I do agree that you should be able to tell her what you think but I realise it's never so easy when the relationship you have is not just business.  But at the end of the day you are paying her for a service and lets face it if you paid somebody else for a service, such as a haircut and you weren't happy you'd go somewhere else.

You've got to find somebody you click with otherwise you'll never get your confidence,  I've got a fab instructor and I do realise I'm lucky, but there's going to be someone near you who is the right instructor.  Good luck!