And I am not talking tennis.  Having yet another one of those rubbish days, I am not sure what is wrong with me or what is going wrong in my life.  Last night in the peeing rain rushing about getting mares fed, watered, medicated and hayed I went to the muck trailer unloaded the wheelbarrow then as I came down the ramp slipped - more buises and egg sized bumps on my leg this time - did I swear - of course not!!!

I lay in bed thinking about the vet visit and the outcome, the mares and what I should do, eventually fell asleep, got on yard this morning to ZZ in a cheeky mood so thought OK maybe it isn't time, she is happy even if she is in, she loves her mamouth stable so no decision needs to be made.

Welshie was sneezing, squeeking generally carrying on but I still have no test results so  again no decision there.

Then Anya, she was quiet all morning, sat down in her stable watching the hay man unloading the quadrants, which I thought strange she should be at the door weaving.  She then stood and ate, mooched about then sat down again just as the guys came to deliver my bedding, again I thought this odd behaviour.  Looked round 5 minutes later she is laying on her side, legs paddling and eyes rolling, I screamed and shouted but nothing. Stood with her and waited for a while she then took a deep breath in, stood up and ate her hay as though nothing had happened.

That was I think a grand mal seizure, 2nd one in a month and I always said if she reached that point I would let her go.  Coupled with the fact her meds are £900 per month and I can't afford that once the insurance stops, so I think I am going to have to say goodbye. Breaks my heart, but I have emailed my Vet and told him what I want on the day, but I have not yet set a date, I think I will give her the next month or so on a higher dose and let her be spoint rotten and do all her favourite horsey things, and probably say goodbye in September which will be 4 years since she came into my life.