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You are in... Forums > Riding and Training > General > HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

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strawberryRoanShy

Joined:

Mar 12

Posts: 2

HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

 HI I HAVE HAD A COB FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A TRUE GENTLEMAN IN EVERY WAY BUT JUST OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS WE'VE HAD A FEW PROBLEMS....OUT ON A RIDE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO MY FRIEND WAS RIDING HIM AND WE MET A DOUBLE DECKER BUS WHICH STARTLED HIM AND IT SCARED ME EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T RIDING AS I COULDN'T HOLD HIM AND HE SHYED BADLY...THEN WE HAD A NEW GELDING THAT SEEMED TO UPSET HIM AND MADE HIM ACT ALL DOMINANT TOWARDS THE OTHER TWO HORSES THAT HE HAS BEEN WITH FOR A LONG TIME..IT ALSO CHANGED HIS ATTITUDE TO ME AND MY FRIEND WHILE GROOMING AND THINGS LIKE FEEDING ETC.. THE OTHER HORSE LEFT AND NOW WE HAVE A MARE THATS COME AND LAST WEEKEND HE REALLY WENT FOR HER IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAY BY HOUNDING HER AND GALLOPING ROUND THE FIELD CHASING HER..IT HAS REALLY STRESSED ME OUT AND I FEEL I HAVE LOST ALL MY CONFIDENCE IN HIM AND BECOME ACTUALLY SCARED .....HIS EARS ALWAYS SEEM TO GO BACK WHEN U GO NEAR HIM AND HE JUST SEEMS REALLY GRUMPY BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO..I REALLY HAVE LOST MY CONFIDENCE AND I HAVEN'T RODE HIM FOR A FEW WEEKS AND DON'T FEEL I CAN AND I WANT TO..... I LUNGED HIM YESTERDAY AND WHEN I WENT TOWARDS HIM HE SORT OF STARTLED WHICH AGAIN MADE ME FEEL NERVOUS AND I SUPPOSE HE CAN FEEL THIS BY MY RESPONSE......HELP PLEASE HOW CAN I GET MY CONFIDENCE BACK AND MY HORSE BACK..

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KeeleyAndRuby

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 170

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

Try Join Up, Monty Roberts Techinque.

Get in a safe area wich is encloed and fairly small, a school will work then let him off and chase him with a whip or anything and make him run and don't let him stop until he drops his head, looks like he is chewing and his ears are swivelling. Then once he gives you the signs let him stop running, drop your eyes to the ground and give him a minute to see if he comes towards you, he should walk towards you if he doesn't chase gim round again. If he comes towards you, wait until he's next to you then pat him then walk off he should follow, if he doesn't then chase him round again.

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strawberryRoanShy

Joined:

Mar 12

Posts: 2

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

 thank you for your advice i will try and see if i can achieve this...will let u know

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LTJ1

Joined:

Oct 08

Posts: 85

LTJ1 says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

you need to spend as much time on the ground as you can and realise the more he does something the more it seems ok - aw dont worry if you just do the same things day after day I promise you he will be fine and you will be. repition is the key xx

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headshy

Joined:

Apr 12

Posts: 2

headshy says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

Doing ground work exercises will certainly help although if you are unfamilar with join up techniques I would leave well alone.  Join up does not involve chasing a horse away with a whip and it should always be done in a safe and controlled environment.  It is a subtle language which takes time to undertand to apply properly - I know this because I have been on the MR courses.

There are lots of ground work exercises that will help establish leadership, trust and control.

I have had confidence issues in the past and it can be really frustrating but there are loads of things you can do and there are lots of techniques out there that most people (including professionals) who ride, have to use from time to time.  I came across this interesting article 'Feeling the Fear' that discusses this and talks about some techniques http://www.hoofon.co.uk/blog/feeling-the-fear.  There's also an article on how to eastablish leadership and some ground work exercises.

Have a plan, take it day by day and before you know it - you'll be back on track.

Good luck

 

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Rio186

Joined:

Jan 11

Posts: 99

Rio186 says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

Hey,  hope things are better by now with you and your horse.  If you want a good 'text' book for this type of thing, try 'Perfect Confidence' or 'Perfect Manners' both by Kelly Marks.  The last one is really worth it's weight in gold to me!  (I haven't read the confidence one, but I've been told by friends it really helps!)

 

Horses are herd animals and react to each other and us.  If you are feeling insecure, its really no surprise that he picked that up.  The more confident you can get yourself, the easier it will be for the both of you, so try sorting out your problems first (even if they aren't especially horse-related) and then move on to his.

 

Good luck!  Like I said, I hope things are already better for you both. Xx

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CathySirett

Joined:

Apr 12

Posts: 12

CathySirett says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

 I hope you are in a better place now -- it is horrible when things change like this

 

if it helps, you can take alook at the free confidence blog:  effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com -- a lot of posts about different aspects of confidence there

 

I think the best thing though would be to get someone to come and take alook - -an RI or someone!

 

Cathy

Effective Horsemanship: "Confidence for Horse And Human" http://effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com/

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blackidris

Joined:

May 11

Posts: 17

blackidris says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

Hi, have you had a vet check him over?sometimes gastric ulcers can cause 'grumpy' behaviour. may be worth getting checking, then if all ok you know you can start to re work your ground manners etc. I had some problems with my youngster last year due to him being hungry and generally frustrated. once I sorted his feed out then did a lot of groundwork with him he improved massively. At one point I couldnt groom or tack him up without him kicking out at me, pretty scary from a 17hh 4 year old!hope things are improving :)

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likehorse00

Joined:

Jan 12

Posts: 67

likehorse00 says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

 Spend as much time with him as you can so that he can gain his trust in you again. It must have been weird for him with all those new horses coming back and forth I don't blame him from getting a little unsure where he fitted in anymore. 

Maybe try join up as KeeleyandRuby says I am intrigued to know what it leads to because Montey Roberts is a true genius.   GOOD LUCK

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Cobsandshire

Joined:

Dec 09

Posts: 243

Cobsandshire says:

Re: HELP WITH MY CONFIDENCE

Just wanted to say that all this advice is excellent and I would totally recommend 'Perfect Manners' by Kelly Marks.  I am also planning on buying 'Perfect Confidence' because my confidence is also shot.  I know exactly how you feel as I still get nervous about riding Munchie.  At it's worst, I was shaking like a leaf when I had to get on.  I had to send him to Dan Wilson (MR style trainer) in Bodmin because he was so badly behaved.  Dan did a fantastic job and was really helpful to me confidence-wise.

Just remember, horses adjust their heart-rate to yours to a certain extent so it's important you get yourself calm before you start.  Visualise yourself doing everything calmly and coping with any issues as they arise.  You could try the Paul McKenna book 'Instant Confidence' - that worked wonders for me when I suffered crippling stage fright.

Good luck!

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