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You are in... Forums > Welcome To Your Horse Forum > The Yard > horses and children

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pippixox

Joined:

Apr 08

Posts: 1287

pippixox says:

horses and children

just out of interest really, wanted to start up a bit of a discusion.....

who here has children and horses? my friend had a year and a half daughter but does manage to look after her one horse and occasionally ride thanks to her mum living near by, but she said really people have to choose between horses or children becase of the commitment....

kind of worried me as in the future i want kids, and although i realise they pretty much take over your life, i do plan on keeping horses as well- even if the baby has to be in a buggy sleeping while i feed!

opionions? im not having kids for quite a while yet, but just curious, does anyone here manage to juggle both?

my horses are my medicine, without them im even more crazy!

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Cocosmom

Joined:

Jan 09

Posts: 2548

Cocosmom says:

Re: horses and children

I have exactly the same concerns, I've never been that interested in kids but i had never been with a guy who I wanted to have kids with (even the 7.5 year relationship I was in, the thought of kids never entered my mind). Now I have met my current boyfriends and things are different with him to any other man I;'ve ever been with and I would like the opportunity to have kids. I have however watched my friend, who keeps her horses with Coco, have 2 kids one 5 and one is 2 and the horses have takem a back seat, partly coz she know's I will pick up the slack (which really annoys me), partly coz her old boy is old and didn't need much exercise and is now retired and partly because her kids are her life and she really doesn't have much interest in anything else in life which is a shame. She sends her husband to do the horses most of the tiem as she is with the kids. 

 

My opinion is you can do it but you need to be able to juggel and you need to want to. I never want to be in a position that I either have to neglect Coco's needs or my kids needs and whenever my boyfreind talks about  us having kids I make it very clear I would like kids with him too but it will be 50%/50% as Coco is a permanent fixture in my life so he will need to have the kids while I ride and that is non negotiable. Coco is my responsibility, he is my baby and I will not neglect him, if I have kids they will have 2 parent who will have to share the child care to fit around our lives fairly!

 

With regard to looking after the horses, well it may not be a popular view in everyones eyes now but my folks have always said to me that you do have to adapt your life to your kids but the kids also have to learn to live around your life and I do think too many parents these days pander to their kids every whim and wish which doesn't teach them much about the 'not so fun' things in life that still have to be done, good weather , bad weather, Christmas day, birthdays etc. I always remember Christmas Day there was no present opening until the dogs had been walked, the horses had been fed and we'd all got back showered and then Christmas Day started about 11am! If I do have kids they would come down to the horses with me while I feed and muck out on a daily basis as that is life. It really winds me up when my friend say's she couldn't do any poo picking today as the fields were too muddy and she had the kids with her... um buy them warm wet weather gear and let them play in the field, yard, mud, puddles while you poo pick? Honestly my friend cant really be bothered any more and it s much more fun for her to take the kids to the public farm down the road to see the animals with her freinds and other kids than spend time with her own horses with her kids.

 

On the flip side another friend of mine has always had her horse sincer her daughter was a baby and often speaks about her daughter being in the pram or one of those back pack things in the field/yard while she mucked out. That her daughter soon learned that winging and wining that she was bored was irrelevant, the horses needed to be fed and looked after every day and that was life. Her daughter has now grown into an amazing 14 year old, BSJA often competing against big 15 - 16hh horses around big courses 3 - 4ft on her 13.2hh welsh mare and leaving them for dust, she is an incredible rider who bought the pony as a 3 year old and brough it on on her own turning it into an incredible pony.

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pippixox

Joined:

Apr 08

Posts: 1287

pippixox says:

Re: horses and children

yes, well what made me think was my friend, but actually, she manages pretty well, although she says deffinatly wont have any more children. she is lucky that her mum lives near by and she has a supportive husband so she has someone to look after her 1.5 yearold twice a day to go and feed and occasionally ride her horse.

but, in many years time (just got dumped from a 3.5 year relationship) when i do have kid, although i would love them to like animals and horses, i dont want to make them! i new a little girl whoes mum ran a yard, and she turned up in all pink gear, and cried as soon as she got mud on it! her mum has to drag her to the yard when she cant get child care

my horses are my medicine, without them im even more crazy!

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sallyprice

Joined:

Aug 11

Posts: 178

sallyprice says:

Re: horses and children

I think I'm lucky having my horses at home so I can poo pick and muck out and prep feeds in advance when kids nap/ watch telly/ play in sand pit etc. The horses get fed and hoof picked on a strict timetable but everything else is flexible. My husband and I work it so that saturday is his, I can ride and he will have the kids, but only when it fits around his sporting commitments. On sunday we swap. If there's something special I really want to do on a sat and it clashes with his hockey match I can try to get my mum to help or miss it. It works for us.

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greyandbay

Joined:

Mar 10

Posts: 3420

greyandbay says:

Re: horses and children

The reason we now have Fate & Captain is due to their owner not having enough time or money to spend with / on her horses, as she now has 2 girls - a rising 2 and a 5 month old.

She lives in town, about 3 or 4 miles away and needed a car to get out to the field, which is in the village where I live, her husband also needs the car for work, and they can no longer afford to keep two running as she doesn't work anymore.

We took the horses on loan, so they still belong to her, but she pays me a monthly sum for looking after them, farrier, worming etc.

She comes out to see them at weekends, and the little 2 year old is already very keen to help - yes even the poo picking, read sallyprices post about poo picking stuff, lol !! and she also sits on Captain and gives him hugs.

If we hadn't taken them on, I really don't know what she would have done - a family does tend to take priority, especially when travelling to a yard or field is involved - if they're at home it's certainly a lot easier.

The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man - Winston Churchill

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rhapsody

Joined:

Apr 05

Posts: 2931

rhapsody says:

Re: horses and children

All of this has got me remembering my late much loved great grandmother.  She and my great grandfather were farm workers and lived in a tied cottage at the farm where they worked.  He was a dairyman and did most of the farm duties, she also did a lot of the hands on farm work around the yard and also worked in the farmhouse, the farmer and his wife had no children of their own so they were short on staff etc.  My great grandmother Rachel had 3 children in the 1920's all with 2 years between eah other, she took only the day off to have the child and went straight back out to work again the next day taking the baby with her who would sleep in the pram in the byre while she milked the herd by hand on an old wooden stool.  The baby would be then wrapped in a huge tartan shawl or "plaid" and attached to her hip bound by the shawl while she did everything else she had to do, or else would sleep away in the pram.  She tended to the baby amongst doing the chores and the children all grew up on the farm getting their own chores to do as they got older.  It was maybe a hard life compared with the "soft" lives we live now, but that old lady of only 4ft 11ins lived until she was 99, and of her 3 children both the daughters are still alive, one of whom is my grandmother, they are 85 and 87 years old respectively and still fit, and it's all put down to the way they were raised in the open air on the farm.  They all have happy memories of the childhood they shared, from raising orphaned piglets and lambs in the cottage to going on the hay cart.  You just have to look to the ancestors for the inspiration and ideas to get you through, and they don't stay little for all that long I suppose, not that I have any!

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pippixox

Joined:

Apr 08

Posts: 1287

pippixox says:

Re: horses and children

wow what a lovely story! although safety is important i do think children are sometimes wrapped up in cotton wool abit, and letting them play in the mud at the yard is better than sitting in front of the tv!

well apparently (though the grape vine- not offical) my friend is trying for children now, and she has 6 horses! although 1 is her dads tecnically, and 3 are retired/not rideable.

money is always a limiter as well i guess- children are even more expensive than horses!

my horses are my medicine, without them im even more crazy!

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