Re: Loss of confidence and when do you know its time to quit?
Oh sweetie, I'm so upset for you. My mum has ME and though i would never tell her my met syndrome is complicated by ME symptoms and as you mnow stress WILL make you ill and send you into a decline. This woman is so unprofessional and YOU have been doing so well. I've been riding since i was 3 and because of my illness and my exhaustion i cant ride for more than 45 mins at a walk, let alone have a "real" lesson, and i think this silly cow is thinking the usual crap about "you're not really ill" just self indulgent until somebody has experienced not being able to walk, finds sitting is tiring (last night we were in bed at 6.13 because i was too tired to sit upright)they cannot understand.
Please change riding stables, i know i spend a lot of time pretending I'm "normal" but since i took up cycling its been the best experience and i think its because i had to sit and go through my illness with the instructor and how every little thing effects me and he had adapted a route for me and i'm doing really well and i think its the same for you. You have to make an appointment to visit a stables and then go and explain everything, right down to the negative experiences you've had.
I find with my horses that the love and care i have to give them is such that i find reserves of energy to keep them but have difficulty with enough energy to ride them! You are doing it the right way round and this should be fun and relaxing not stressful and giving you heartache.
The difference between me and the 70stone man winched out of his top floor flat? I have fought my illness all my life, seeking answers and listening to my body, starving myself and moving as much as possible always, but also it comes down to LUCK, intellect, reasoning, being able to understand its not your fault so not letting any person bully me, but stand up for myself (I quake in a cupboard afterwards lol) and carry on and get on with it.
I know how hard this is for you, i know how the stress of this one incident will set you back, but know that you're not on your own and i love knowing there's someone else out there who's fighting their illness to do this. So have a relaxing 24 hours and pick up the phone and ring round the stables and can i suggest you explain that you are a disabled rider. The only time i admit to having a dizzy badge is when it comes down to horses, they are too dangerous not to have everyone involved aware that i am less able!
Good luck and please let me know how you're getting on. xx