I'd been looking forward to the hour's hack yesterday with my instructor, but while I've got my lesson booked for next Sat already I've been rather upset over night and I'm feeling rather reluctant to go back. I've coped well with an hour's hack but yesterday my energy levels went down really quickly. My instructor knows I've got M.E. and I did say a number of times that I was struggling to cope and couldn't keep up with her. I just got told to stick my horse in trot and 'keep up'. She seemed annoyed with me when I said I didn't want to canter when we got to a field, but by that time I'd got a stitch, was out of breath and was quite simply scared (I know my confidence and nerves are a big hurdle for me). It hadn't helped that her horse had recently gone blind in one eye and was skittish at best and while she was able to cope with her horse it was unnerving me, especially as her horse when it spooked went into reverse and was coming back towards me. By the end of the ride I was feeling sick, tired and just wanted to get off the horse I was on. I didn't enjoy the hack at all.

If that wasn't enough we got back to the yard only for her to yell across the yard to one of the staff to take her horse as I'd made her late for next lesson as I'd been 'slacking' and not keeping pace. I wouldn't mind but she knows the area and the fact that she'd got another lesson scheduled at 10 straight after the hour's hack we were on. We could have shortened the distance and headed back so we got there in time. In addition to which I've blistered my fingers on the reins. One of which was bad enough that I needed to do first aid on it before I could even get in my car to drive home. She'd seen the state of it and just cleared off to her next lesson. All I can say is good job I carry a first aid kit with me in my car.

So I don't know what to do now. I'll probably go back next Sat, provided my hands have healed enough that I can hold a set of reins and do at least one lesson but I'm not sure about the future. I don't particularly want to have to look for another school to ride at having only switched earlier this year to where I'm at currently, but at this point in time I'm not happy and am feeling rather offended as to how I've been spoken about infront of me with other staff.