hello, forgive me, i'm new here but wanted to ask for a bit of help with an issue that has arisen! hope this is the right place for it...
i ride twice a week at a yard near my home, i don't own a horse but tend to ride the same horse a lot, trying to mix it up with a few others here and there! she is about 9 years old, heavy set cob type mare around 15.2hh, often very head strong but willing once she settles in and realises who is in control. i've ridden her for over a year now and we've finally established a really good relationship and she works really well in the school with me.
unfortunely last weekend we had a little blip... we were working in the school, crossed stirrups, working trot in 10m circle when she tripped over. it all went a bit slow-mo but basically i was thrown to the side (clear from her thank goodness) and she fell over onto her back; we both leapt up immediately, not sure who was more shocked, and after brushing her off i remounted, however she was very stiff so i ended the session and she has rested until today (she wasn't lame fortunately, i think just a bit shocked from the whole experience). i didn't feel pain in myself until the adrenalin had gone, and then my whole body was hurting! but thankfully nothing too serious.
so today i rode her into the school again, i purposely went into the same school because i was nervous as hell, it really shook me, but i knew in my head i had to just get over it. the whole time my mind was thinking about her falling over, she went well though, even though i just did very basic work, literally just 20m circles and rein changes in walk and trot, and a small canter on each rein (my back was feeling the pain by then). when i got off i felt so relieved, but to be honest it wasn't relief that i had got back on and rode her again, it was relief that the ride was over, it felt horrible!
the problem is now that i still have to ride her again this weekend and in the future. i have to ride her this sunday in a group lesson, i am petrified. i even told my boyfriend about it and i started crying which is very unlike me! i know if i am scared then she will know this, but i have no idea how to get over it? it's such a shame because i've worked so hard with her and i feel totally useless now, my confidence is completely gone. she is such a lovely horse when she is going well, but i just have these horrible visions of her shoving her head down as she so often tries to, and ending up on the floor again.
so basically my question is do you any of you have any ideas for me to forget about my fall, what has worked for you and what is the best way for me to move forward? i really feel like i'm at square one again. i just want to ride and enjoy it, and not burst into tears when i think about it!
thank you so much in advance.