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You are in... Forums > Welcome To Your Horse Forum > Off Topic > I HATE facebook (most of the time)

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tipsy_296

Joined:

Nov 08

Posts: 1799

tipsy_296 says:

I HATE facebook (most of the time)

Please tell me if im being over reactional but i really hate facebook if i had a choice both me and my bf would get rid of it. We've had several big arguements over it like him trying to add ex's and one stands, why do u need to?? i know u say your just friends but i never add anyone i have that kinda past with cos i know he wouldnt like. (not that im that kinda girl!!) But nows hes got a woman whos just left his works messaging him asking about having a leaving do for her, ok this is fine no problem with this, apart from her being tall blonde and slim, no problemo! lol but its leaving 6 kisses at the end, if i was writing on someones wall and i knew they had a gf, id never leave that many maybe one or two just to finish the message off, now i really dont want him to go, but cant say anything as id look as the evil one. im not even invited, its not even like an official works party, its out in town for drinks, so numbers isnt a problem, i know if i was in his position i wouldnt go if he wasnt allowed to go. Its like hes happy to leave me stuck at home on a saturday and go out with mates but if i knew i was going out on a saturday and he didnt have anyone to go out i wouldnt leave him in on his own id say i couldnt make it and stay in with him! I do so much for him i cook for him and do his washing i run round trying to make sure he has everything he wants, i even break my bank so i can buy him nice presents on special occasions, he never really lifts a finger, not even to help me cook dinner! hes 25 lives at home with his parents where his mum and dad do everything for him!! hes such a lazy sod! it really drives me insane but i know i love him thats why i do everything for him! .... soz bf rant, but ive not got anyone else to talk to :( xxx

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JoeyH

Joined:

Apr 09

Posts: 24

JoeyH says:

Facebook, grrr

Poor you,   I have to admit i'm not a big fan of facebook either.  Don't blame you for getting cross about him adding exes and one nighters, why????  How would he feel if you had former colleagues messaging you and signing of with 6 x's?  You can either try and talk to him about him being lazy and the facebook thing or if after several attempts that doesn't work you'll need to come on stronger.  be careful about ultimatums though - don't say them  if you aren't prepared to go through with it.  At 25 he needs to look after himself - by the sounds of it him living at home is just a bit too easy for him (i speak from experience about boys like that), and he needs to look after you sometimes too!  Have you been together long? You can't run around after him all teh time or you have no energy left for you!  Don't do his dinner / washing for a week and see what happens. 

Good Luck!!

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tipsy_296

Joined:

Nov 08

Posts: 1799

tipsy_296 says:

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

ooo hes very stomach orinated i dont think he'll like not having his dinner done for him! lol we've been together for 2 years, he lives around 30 miles away but we see each other most days, it started off by me coming down at least 3 x a week and him just coming down on friday nights, i got so tired working doing horses being up at 3am everyday, i eventually had a bad accident and nearly killed myself by rolling my car! its has to get to that limit before it really hits home with him, i think the only time he'll know how much i do is when im not there and its too late and hes shocked into the fact that actually although im not the best gf in the world i did darned hardest to try to be! x

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tipsy_296

Joined:

Nov 08

Posts: 1799

tipsy_296 says:

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

thank you for reading though, its good to know i can let things spill out and not worry about what people think! xx

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cwrmori

Joined:

May 09

Posts: 151

cwrmori says:

Re: Facebook, grr

 I really know where you're coming from with the bf rant ;-) Mine is 35 and STILL living at home with his mum doing everything for him, it's been a real battle to get him out of there (moving house tomorrow!) he's got far too comfortable with having everything easy even though he keeps talking about 'wasting his life' and 'must move out' but the reality of change just seems to be too much for him to cope with *sigh*

Men eh - why do we put up with them? 

As for the facebook thing - I think people can easily get the wrong idea on there (everyone seems to throw xxxxxxx on the end of messages it seems (usually just means they left their finger on the key longer than planned - lol) and it's too easy to take meaningless things to heart. HOWEVER - I never like it if he adds some female I don't actually know (who is usually someone from work or rowing) but never an ex or anything like that. I would honestly be really upset at him if he did and that's putting it very mildly.

I've also had to accept his frequent 'mens squad' rowing nights out at the pub that include 18,19 year old girls going along too (whoever has been a cox for them) which really stretches the term 'mens' night, and I never get included even though the others occasionally take partners. I just let him do his own thing, as a relationship is never going to work if you feel you need to control him and the people he sees. It's about each having something (hobby / friends etc) of your own - I've found it's done us good not to do everything together. Gives us more to talk about to each other ;-) 

Going on one of my friends in a similar boat to your bloke, he says he adds them (ex girlfriends etc) because more friends makes him look more popular - that he's not usually as fussed about the individual as he is the total number of friends he has! Sad but true... so it might be something as innocent as that. 

If it really bothers you, I would let him know in a sad and non-confrontational way - so he knows that it makes you upset and worried. 

Sorry I've dragged on! Just try not to worry too much :-) 

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*Raychel*&*Gally*

Joined:

Dec 08

Posts: 2728

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

Oh hun i know exactly wot you mean! MY boyf just adds random girls, hes 23 and will add a 16yr old! Yuck. Then says 'Oh theyre one of my mates gf mates' or if theyre older 'theyre engaged/married/ have a bloke/ have kids/ pregnant' it does my head in!!! Then i met someone in a pub last week, was chatting to him, he knew i had a bloke, I add him on Fb and all hell breaks lose with my boyf! I hate how its one set of rules for us and another for them. grrr! Youve got me wound up about it again now lol.

But if i was you, id sit him down, talk to him about how its making you feel. If hes anything like my bloke it wont work but worth a try. And also making him actually do sometihng for himself wont hurt. lol. Or u cud take the immature approach and go out that night and make sure he sees you with a guy chatting you up, dont actually cheat on him, just let him know other blokes would be interested. xx

Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn

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yorkshiredeb

Joined:

Apr 09

Posts: 5534

yorkshiredeb says:

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

add some cute guys onto your facebook - or even better - make a false profile of some georgeous suntanned hunk (loads of pics online lol) and add him yerself - get "him" to send you really flirty messages!  that will teach him!

Men eh - who'd have them?

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tipsy_296

Joined:

Nov 08

Posts: 1799

tipsy_296 says:

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

im glad im not just being really insecure over this, hes forever telling me how insecure i am! Generally its the things he does that has made me so insecure!! lol i am going to have a chat with him tonight, its getting to a point now where he has to realise, not a 'if you dont change its over' cos i really do love him very much, but a 'please change otherwise no more nice steak din dins' chat lol best way bribe them through the stomach, i think if i can keep it as light hearted as possible it wont agre him, i swear he's like the hulk, he'll jus flip! first signs are in his cheeks as something starts to twitch! lol freekio!

Love your idea yorkshiredeb, but he uses this comp and if he sees pics ive saved of the guy supposedly chatting me up he wont take it lightly.

Rachel*et*gally id LOVE someone to chat me up for once! i used to get chatted up loads but i never ever get any attention these days, i havent got fat or changed my hair, god knows why, maybe i dont look such an easy target these days! xx

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equus09

Joined:

Apr 09

Posts: 207

equus09 says:

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

hey yes i know how your feeling, it was my birthday a day before this lasses who lived next door to my boyfriend, and he was talking about going for a meal with her and some of her family for hers, but he mentioned about hers before mine! after though he did kinda say i was planning something tonight on my birthday but that wasn't the point. i got really angry about it, because also the lass that lived next door to him was friends with his ex.

but anyway, he didn't end up going as i made him promise and we went for a meal for mine.

i kept telling him, you don't go out for meals with your friends (they hardly talk) specially lasses when your taken, ok you might when your single! with your own gendered mates, but family thats different.

and on facebook! he has the lass next door, and his ex as a friend, and he sent his ex a private message saying happy birthday to her, now i do trust him alot, no i dont think he will run off with her 1 bit but thats not the point! but anyway im thinking of hacking into his account or making him delete his ex & the lass next door, specially his ex. you just dont do that, talk to your ex's after specially when your in another relationship! :S

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*Raychel*&*Gally*

Joined:

Dec 08

Posts: 2728

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

Tipsy, i hadnt been chatted up for ages then did a charity walk finishing in town and went for a drink, then another and had 3 guys chatting me up! I had trainers, 3/4 length trousers and a tshirt on. Wearing my medal for finishing lmao. And totally windswept hair. I couldnt beleive it. Maybe go for the 'iv made no effort whatsoever look' lol. Also make sure your not with a bloke, obivously. God men are so awkward. xx

Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn

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jumpingjokey

Joined:

Apr 09

Posts: 33

jumpingjokey says:

Re: I HATE facebook (most of the time)

I DONT MY MUM GOSE ON IT SHE LOVES IT

horesey

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