Re: Facebook, grr
I really know where you're coming from with the bf rant ;-) Mine is 35 and STILL living at home with his mum doing everything for him, it's been a real battle to get him out of there (moving house tomorrow!) he's got far too comfortable with having everything easy even though he keeps talking about 'wasting his life' and 'must move out' but the reality of change just seems to be too much for him to cope with *sigh*
Men eh - why do we put up with them?
As for the facebook thing - I think people can easily get the wrong idea on there (everyone seems to throw xxxxxxx on the end of messages it seems (usually just means they left their finger on the key longer than planned - lol) and it's too easy to take meaningless things to heart. HOWEVER - I never like it if he adds some female I don't actually know (who is usually someone from work or rowing) but never an ex or anything like that. I would honestly be really upset at him if he did and that's putting it very mildly.
I've also had to accept his frequent 'mens squad' rowing nights out at the pub that include 18,19 year old girls going along too (whoever has been a cox for them) which really stretches the term 'mens' night, and I never get included even though the others occasionally take partners. I just let him do his own thing, as a relationship is never going to work if you feel you need to control him and the people he sees. It's about each having something (hobby / friends etc) of your own - I've found it's done us good not to do everything together. Gives us more to talk about to each other ;-)
Going on one of my friends in a similar boat to your bloke, he says he adds them (ex girlfriends etc) because more friends makes him look more popular - that he's not usually as fussed about the individual as he is the total number of friends he has! Sad but true... so it might be something as innocent as that.
If it really bothers you, I would let him know in a sad and non-confrontational way - so he knows that it makes you upset and worried.
Sorry I've dragged on! Just try not to worry too much :-)